Hmmm, where to start... Whatever isn't broken or worn out, is dirty.
Most were at least 2 of the 3.
Let's start with the bathroom:
Mildew growing in the shower, paint peeling, no shower curtain, no toilet paper, stained mirrors, basin was held to the wall by little more than silicon sealant and His Noodly Appendage, missing towel rails, and lots of other details I won't bore you with.
Moving over to the bedroom: The lack of housekeeping service (Oh, did I mention no housekeeping service?) is most evident here. The floors weren't clean (the previous victim's airline luggage tags were still lying on the floor), the bed spreads were frayed at the edges, sheet were stained, mattress was wafer thin and completely worn out. There's a TV, but no remote control.
And then, there's the aircon (which deserves a paragraph of its own).
It's held together with insulation tape, the vents are clogged with years of dust, all the knobs have been removed, and is switched on and off by plugging it in or unplugging it from the wall. It worked pretty much when it wanted to, which means you'll rely on the ceiling fan for the most part.
Despite their text on Booking.com, only one of the front desk staff members spoke English, which means I had check in using sign language.
I would actually recommend this hotel, just for the adventure of it. As long as you bath in disinfectant after checking out, you should be fine.
The adventure of experiencing probably the worst hotel in all of
Argentina. What a privilege. A bit like an expensive House of Horrors
theme park ride that lasts a few days. Common sense dictates that you
run for the hills, but morbid curiosity compels you to stick around just
to see what horrors await.
The breakfast was simple, but decent.
WiFi was fast (by local standards) and reliable.